I am an extremely picky eater, but even that does not fully describe what eating can be like for me.

I Am an Extremely Picky Eater, and It Is More Than Being Difficult

When people hear the term “picky eater,” they may picture someone standing in front of a buffet, acting dramatic because the green beans are not wearing the right outfit. But for some of us, picky eating is much more complicated than simply disliking certain foods.

For me, it goes far beyond preference.

I can look at a beautiful, colorful, fresh salad and honestly think, That looks so good. I should at least try one bite.

Then I pick up the fork.

Before the food even gets close to my mouth, I can feel the rumblings of a dry heave. The fear that I might throw up takes over, and my body says, “Absolutely not.”

The gag reflex arrives like it owns the place, and no amount of positive thinking helps.

I wish I could eat the salad. I really do. But this is a reaction to food that I have never been able to get past.

Learning About ARFID

For years, I thought this was simply me being an extremely picky eater.

Then I learned there is a name for a condition involving food restriction that can go far beyond ordinary pickiness: ARFID, which stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder.

ARFID can involve a very limited range of foods, strong sensory reactions to taste, smell, texture, or appearance, and difficulties involving nutrition, health, or everyday life.

Please understand that I have not been officially diagnosed, and I am not trying to diagnose myself.

Learning about ARFID did, however, help me understand that severe picky eating can be more than a preference. It gave me language for something I had struggled to explain for most of my life.

My reaction to certain foods feels physical. It is not simply a decision I make at the dinner table.

Every Picky Eater Has a Different Food Map

My diet has been limited for most of my life. I dislike most vegetables and some fruits, but other picky eaters I have met are the exact opposite. Some eat mostly fruits and vegetables but struggle with meat or starches.

That is one thing I have learned from being in online groups: picky eaters are not all picky in the same way.

We each have our own little food map, and some of those maps are missing entire countries.

Even my version of a salad looks different.

An antipasto salad is probably the closest I will ever get to eating one. It contains several foods I already enjoy, so it feels familiar and safe. A traditional leafy salad may stop me before the fork reaches my mouth, but a plate filled with prosciutto, tomatoes, cheese, and other familiar ingredients can actually make me smile.

That may not sound like a major difference to someone else, but it is a big difference to me.

The Health Side Still Worries Me

The health side of having such a limited diet has always worried me.

As a child, I watched people in my family struggle with weight, and that frightened me. I did not want that future for myself. I have managed not to become obese, but I have still struggled with my weight throughout my life.

Now I am in my sixties and still thinking about it.

I quit smoking in March after more than 40 years, and the promised weight gain showed up right on schedule. I went from approximately 135 pounds to around 145, and apparently my metabolism did not get the memo that I was already dealing with enough.

The CDC explains that increased appetite and some weight gain can happen after quitting smoking.

Eating carefully feels like the only option I have. But eating carefully is difficult when many of the foods considered “right” or “healthy” are the same foods my body refuses.

That is one reason I rely so much on movement. Staying active has been one of the tools that helped me avoid what I feared might become my family destiny. Exercise has not solved everything, but it gives me a way to keep fighting for my health using something I can control.

Food does not always give me that same feeling of control.

More Than a Preference

I am sharing this because I want other extremely picky eaters—and the people who love them—to understand something important.

This is not always stubbornness. It is not always immaturity. It is not always someone refusing to grow up and eat a vegetable.

Sometimes it is a physical and exhausting challenge that follows a person throughout life.

It can also affect much more than what appears on someone’s plate. When so much of life happens around food, being unable to eat what everyone else is eating can become complicated very quickly.

That is the part of the story I will share next.

And yes, I still wish I could eat the salad. I really do.

I just wish the salad understood that too.

FAQ

What is ARFID in adults?

Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is an eating disorder that causes someone to severely limit the amount or variety of foods they eat. This may be driven by food textures, smells or appearances, a lack of interest in eating, or fear of choking or vomiting—not by concerns about weight or body shape. Learn more from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Is extreme picky eating the same as ARFID?

Not necessarily. Extreme picky eating may be a sign of ARFID, but ARFID involves food restriction serious enough to affect nutrition, health or everyday life. Only a qualified healthcare professional can determine whether someone meets the criteria for ARFID. Learn more about ARFID and picky eating from Cleveland Clinic.

Can picky eating affect your health as an adult?

Yes. If picky eating severely limits the foods or nutrients someone consumes, it can contribute to nutritional deficiencies, low energy, weight changes and other health problems. It may also make restaurants, travel and social gatherings difficult or stressful. Anyone concerned about their eating or nutrition should speak with a doctor or registered dietitian. Find additional ARFID information and support through NEDA.