Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: My Honest Journey Through Love, Loss, and Purpose

Grandparents raising grandchildren face a unique challenge filled with love, heartbreak, sacrifice, and strength. I’ve been raising my granddaughter since she was just 5 months old. She’s now 7. It hasn’t been easy, and I want to share the truth, not just the good parts, but the tough ones too.

This post is for every grandparent who’s stepped into this role or is thinking about it. I want to help you make the right decision for your life, whether that means raising your grandchild or not.

The Reality of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

When I became my granddaughter’s full-time caregiver, I never imagined how complex the journey would be. Like many grandparents raising grandchildren, I had to step in due to issues with the biological parents — in my case, my son and his child’s mother.

There’s deep love, of course. But love alone isn’t enough.

Before you decide to raise a grandchild, you need to consider so many real-life factors:

• Your age and health
• Your financial stability
• Your mental and emotional energy
• Your living situation
• Your relationship with the child’s parents
• Your long-term ability to care for a child

It’s not just a loving gesture — it’s a whole lifestyle shift.

- iMarly

Raising a Grandchild Doesn’t Mean Losing Yourself

Grandparent caregivers often feel they’re giving up their retirement or golden years. And yes, some sacrifices are inevitable. But this doesn’t have to mean the end of your life as you knew it. It’s a change in direction, not a dead end.

With the proper support, perspective, and preparation, this new path can still bring you joy, meaning, and purpose.

But let’s be clear:

✅ Will there be sacrifices? Yes.
✅ Will you have to give things up? Certainly.
❌ Should you feel guilty if you decide not to raise your grandchildren? Absolutely not.

Just because you say no doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

This is a big decision. One that impacts your life and the child’s life. It’s okay to step back and say, “I just can’t do this.” That doesn’t make you a bad grandparent — it makes you an honest one.

Important Questions Every Grandparent Should Ask

If you’re one of the many grandparents raising grandchildren or thinking about stepping into that role, here are some key questions to help guide your decision:

1. Am I physically and emotionally able to do this long-term?
2. How will raising a grandchild affect my finances or retirement?
3. What legal rights or custody arrangements do I need?
4. How will this impact my relationship with the child’s parents?
5. Do I have the space and time to provide a stable home?
6. Am I prepared to deal with emotional trauma or behavioral issues?
7. What happens to my grandchild if something happens to me?
8. Do I have a support system (family, friends, church, or community)?
9. Can I adapt to new parenting styles, school systems, and technology?
10. What will I lose… and what might I gain?

These are not easy questions, but they’re necessary.

You Are Not Alone, Even If It Feels That Way

When I started this journey, I wished I had other grandparents raising grandchildren to talk to. But people in our shoes can be hard to find. They’re often exhausted, overwhelmed, or quiet about their situation.

That’s why I’m writing this — to speak to someone like you.

Whether you’re already caring for a grandchild or considering it, know this:

💬 You are not alone.
💬 You are not selfish for thinking it through.
💬 You are not weak for having doubts.

Final Thoughts from a Grandmother in the Trenches

Raising my granddaughter has tested me in every possible way, but it’s also given me a renewed sense of purpose. If this is the last big thing I do on this earth, I want to do it with honesty and love and help others do the same.

This post is the beginning of a new series for my blog, where I’ll continue to talk about:

• The legal side of grandparent custody
• Financial help for grandparent caregivers
• Setting boundaries with biological parents
• Mental health and emotional burnout
• Finding a balance between parenting and grandparenting

If you are a grandparent raising your grandchild or thinking about it, I encourage you to follow along. And if you have a story to share, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

We’re stronger when we lift each other and don’t have to walk this path alone.
With love and strength,
A grandmother who understands

AARP offers one of the most helpful and comprehensive resources for grandparents raising grandchildren. Their dedicated "Grandfamilies Guide" provides practical advice, legal information, emotional support, and links to state-specific services to help navigate the challenges of raising a second generation. Whether you're just starting or have been caring for your grandkids for years, this guide is a trustworthy companion.
👉 Visit the AARP Grandfamilies Guide here

🛠️ Preparing for the Unexpected as a Grandparent

Raising grandchildren comes with love, purpose—and unexpected challenges. One of the biggest? Navigating uncertain times, whether they’re financial, emotional, or societal. That’s why it’s more important than ever to be prepared, not panicked.

If you’re a grandparent (or anyone) trying to make sense of how to stay ready without getting overwhelmed, I’ve shared some down-to-earth advice in this journal entry:

👉 Preparing for Uncertain Times Without Panic or Politics

It’s all about staying practical, grounded, and focused on what really matters—your family’s safety and peace of mind.